Archive for May, 2012

Romney-Tebow 2012

May 1st, 2012 1 comment
Beowulf Sailing to Daneland

Beowulf: almost as epic as this post.

Disclaimer – this post is epic.

In my last post, I talked about a few people who would definitely not be Romney’s VP, and now it’s time to talk about the crapload of people that his team will consider. To be a good VP candidate, a person has to address an obstacle course of important considerations. The perfect candidate would address all of them, and in Romney’s case, I don’t think that’s possible. So he will have to settle for choosing between a few candidates that address at least some of them. Although he would love to get someone with experience in a previous administration, anyone with connections to George W. Bush is probably a bad idea. And while he might like to pick someone fresh and exciting and consider a woman on the ticket to try to counter the “War on Women” allegations against the GOP, he is haunted by the ghost of Sarah Palin.

So this is going to be a tough decision for Mitt. But I still wanted to figure out his short list to share with you ahead of time. To make it simple, I decided to turn this into a little contest! Below are the categories, and the VP hopefuls get points for each round they win, with the running tally next to their name. But careful – some candidates will be disqualified for not passing the sudden death rounds. Let the search begin!

Round 1 – Swing States

Could the VP pick help deliver a specific important swing state? Points go to:

  • Marco Rubio (1) – FL
  • Jeb Bush (1) – FL
  • Bob McDonnell (1) – VA
  • Rob Portman (1) – OH
  • Terry Branstadt (1) – IA
  • Eric Cantor (1) – VA
  • John Boenher (1) – OH
  • Brian Sandoval (1) – NV
  • Kelly Ayotte (1) – NH
  • Pat Toomey (1) – PA
  • Tim Tebow (1) – FL or CO

Round 2 – Buzz

Would the person create some buzz around his campaign and decrease the number of Americans falling asleep listening to Romney? Points go to:

Donald Trump

Just think Romney, his buzz would be huge.

  • Marco Rubio (2)
  • Jeb Bush (2)
  • Tim Tebow (2)
  • Chris Christie (1)
  • Mike Huckabee (1)
  • Condoleeza Rice (1)
  • General Petraeus (1)
  • Rand Paul (1)
  • Michael Bloomberg (1)
  • Luis Fortuño (1)
  • Sarah Palin (1)
  • Allen West (1)
  • Donald Trump (1)

Round 3 – Foot in Mouth Disease (Sudden Death Round)

Does the person lack a filter and have a tendency to say stupid or controversial things that draw unnecessary negative attention? These picks are eliminated:

  • Chris Christie
  • Mark Kirk
  • Sarah Palin
  • Allen West
  • Donald Trump

Round 4 – Latinos

Could the VP pick help attract Latinos, a group Romney and Republicans are desperately trying to court? Points go to:

  • Marco Rubio (3)
  • Jeb Bush (3)
  • Brian Sandoval (2)
  • Luis Fortuño (2)
  • Susana Martinez (1)
  • Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (1)

Round 5 – Women

Is the VP pick a woman that might bolster Romney’s standing with women – another group he really needs to win over? Points go to:

  • Susana Martinez (2)
  • Kelly Ayotte (2)
  • Condoleeza Rice (2)
  • Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (2)
  • Nikki Haley (1)
  • Lisa Murkowski (1)
  • Jan Brewer (1)
  • Susan Collins (1)
  • Kay Bailey Hutchison (1)
  • Jean Schmidt (1)
  • Mary Fallin (1)

Round 6 – Ethics and Scandals (Sudden Death Round)

Would the VP pick have any lingering ethical questions, skeletons in their closet, or major controversies associated with them? These picks are eliminated:

  • Marco Rubio (Finances)
  • Nikki Haley (Allegations of affairs)
  • Kelly Ayotte (Failure to investigate mortgage fraud charges, deletion of emails)
  • Lisa Murkowski (Originally appointed by father, shady land deal)
  • Kay Bailey Hutchison (Indictments for misconduct as Texas Treasurer)
  • Jean Schmidt (Falsely listed endorsements & other smaller issues)
  • Mary Fallin (“Unprofessional conduct” with bodyguard, followed by divorce from husband)
Condoleeza Rice

Condoleeza Rice: The Perfect VP Candidate? Only if you want to defend the Iraq War for the rest of the election...

Round 7 – Foreign Policy Experience

Is the VP pick someone with strong foreign policy experience, one of the holes in Romney’s résumé? Points go to:

  • Condoleeza Rice (3)
  • Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (3)
  • General Petraeus (2)
  • Susan Collins (2)
  • Jon Huntsman (1)
  • Lindsey Graham (1)

Round 8 – The Conservative Base

Is it someone that would shore up support from Tea Party and/or the religious right? Points go to:

  • Tim Tebow (3)
  • Bob McDonnell (2)
  • Mike Huckabee (2)
  • Jan Brewer (2)
  • Pat Toomey (2)
  • Rand Paul (2)
  • Jim DeMint (1)
  • Paul Ryan (1)
  • Mike Lee (1)
  • Sam Brownback (1)

Round 9 – Religion (Sudden Death Round)

Does the VP contender have any religious background or connections that might raise questions or exacerbate voters unease with Romney’s Mormonism? These picks are eliminated:

  • Jon Huntsman (Mormon)
  • Eric Cantor (Jewish)
  • Michael Bloomberg (Jewish)
  • Mike Lee (Mormon)
  • Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (Episcopalian, but one of the biggest supporters of Scientology & receivers of Scientology $$ in House)
  • Jim Talent (Jewish)

Round 10 – Experience

Does the VP pick have more than enough political experience to credibly take over as President? Points go to:

Jeb Bush

Bushes: Third time's the charm?

  • Jeb Bush (4)
  • Mike Huckabee (3)
  • Susan Collins (3)
  • Pat Toomey (3)
  • Paul Ryan (2)
  • Jim DeMint (2)
  • Rob Portman (2)
  • Terry Branstadt (2)
  • Sam Brownback (2)
  • Lindsey Graham (2)
  • John Boehner (2)
  • Mitch Daniels (1)
  • Bobby Jindal (1)
  • Lamar Alexander (1)
  • John Hoeven (1)
  • John Thune (1)

Round 11 – Campaign Wingman

Would he or she be a strong campaigner and be able to act as attack dog while Romney tries to stay above the fray and presidential-looking? Points go to:

  • Mike Huckabee (4)
  • Tim Tebow (4)
  • Bob McDonnell (3)
  • Paul Ryan (3)
  • Jim DeMint (3)
  • John Boenher (3)
  • Jan Brewer (3)
  • Sam Brownback (3)
  • Rand Paul (3)

George W. Bush with a screech owl

I love this photo.

Round 12 – The Curse of Dubya (Sudden Death Round)

Would the VP pick remind voters of the Bush years? These picks are eliminated (or docked a point):

  • Jeb Bush
  • Condoleeza Rice
  • Rob Portman -1 (1) (US Trade Rep. & Director of Budget Office under Bush)
  • Mitch Daniels -1 (0) (Director of Budget Office under Bush)

Round 13 – Do No Harm

Beyond having no skeletons, would the VP pick be safe enough (read: boring enough) to stay on message, rock absolutely no boats, and raise no eyebrows? Points go to:

Tim Pawlenty

Pawlenty is the flavor vanilla picks when it's bored.

  • Pat Toomey (4)
  • Terry Branstad (3)
  • Bobby Jindal (2)
  • Rob Portman (2)
  • Lamar Alexander (2)
  • John Thune (2)
  • Mitch Daniels (1)
  • Tim Pawlenty (1)
  • Sean Parnell (1)

Round 14 – Moderates and Independents

Will the person attract (or at least not scare) moderates and independents that may be wary of the far-right rhetoric of the campaign so far? Points go to:

  • Susan Collins (4)
  • Terry Branstad (4)
  • Bobby Jindal (3)
  • Lamar Alexander (3)
  • General Petraeus (3)
  • Lindsey Graham (3)
  • Mitch Daniels (2)
  • John Hoeven (2)
  • Sean Parnell (2)

Round 15 – Economic Clout

  • Pat Toomey (5)
  • Paul Ryan (4)
  • Bobby Jindal (4)
  • Rob Portman (3)
  • Mitch Daniels (3)
  • John Hoeven (3)

Round 16 – Controversial Policies

Has the VP contender pushed for or enacted any major policies that would make them extremely unpopular with important voting groups or prove easy fodder for Obama to attack? These picks are eliminated:

  • Jan Brewer (Draconian immigration laws)
  • Bob McDonnell (Questionable executions, invasive abortion requirements, “Confederate History Month,” etc.)
  • John Boenher (Any unpopular plan advanced by Republicans)
  • Scott Walker (Death ray aimed at workers’ rights)
  • Rick Scott (Forced drug screenings, Medicare billing, plenty of small controversies)
  • Rand Paul (Opposition to Civil Rights Act of 1964)

Round 17 – Geographic Strength

Terry Branstad photo by Gage Skidmore

Terry Branstad: Because mustaches win in the Midwest.

Would the person also have appeal outside of their home state in a contentious region like the Midwest or Mountain West? Points go to:

  • Tim Tebow (5)
  • Terry Branstad (5)
  • Rob Portman (4)
  • John Hoeven (4)
  • Susana Martinez (3)
  • Brian Sandoval (3)

Round 18 – Outsider Status

Lastly, running against an incumbent with Congress’ approval rating at a dismal 14%, Romney is likely to prefer a Beltway outsider. Points go to:

  • Tim Tebow (6)
  • Terry Branstad (6)
  • Bobby Jindal (5)
  • Mitch Daniels (5)
  • Susana Martinez (4)
  • Brian Sandoval (4)
  • General Petraeus (4)
  • Luis Fortuño (3)
  • Sean Parnell (3)
  • Tim Pawlenty (2)

Round 19 – Campaign Experience

Plus one point to the contenders that have run for the Presidency before or really know how to work a crowd; minus one point to those that have never really campaigned before:

  • Tim Tebow +1 (7)
  • Mike Huckabee +1 (5)
  • Lamar Alexander +1 (4)
  • Tim Pawlenty +1 (3)
  • General Petraeus -1 (3)

Round 20 – The Curse of Palin

Could the person remind anyone of Sarah Palin in any way? Are they an inexperienced female governor? Are they from Alaska? Out:

  • Susana Martinez (Attractive governor with less than 2 years experience)
  • Sean Parnell (Current Alaska Governor)


So where does that leave us??? Here’s the short list of final contenders with 4 points or more:

  1. Tim Tebow (7) – Ultra-Christian former Denver Broncos quarterback (now NY Jets)
  2. Terry Branstad (6) – Governor of Iowa
  3. Bobby Jindal (5) – Governor of Louisiana
  4. Mike Huckabee (5) – Former Governor of Arkansas
  5. Mitch Daniels (5) – Governor of Indiana
  6. Pat Toomey (5) – Senator from Pennsylvania
  7. Rob Portman (4) – Senator from Ohio
  8. Paul Ryan (4) – Wisconsin Rep. & leader on GOP economic policy
  9. Brian Sandoval (4) – Governor of Nevada
  10. John Hoeven (4) – Senator from North Dakota
  11. Lamar Alexander (4) – Senator from Tennessee
  12. Susan Collins (4) – Senator from Maine

So as you can see, there are a few surprises here! For starters, some of the big names bouncing around the news echo chamber aren’t even on here. Second, there are a few names I’d never even heard of before I started researching: Terry Branstad? John Hoeven? Who the heck are they? A few familiar names still made the list, though: people like Bobby Jindal, Mitch Daniels, and Paul Ryan that have been the center of endless speculation.

The other surprise is that there’s only one woman that made the list! Susan Collins would be a solid, moderate choice, but she’s retiring this year, so I have a feeling she wouldn’t be interested. Every other major Republican woman I came across seemed to have a scandal or controversy to her name! So expect Romney’s little one to be a boy.

Lastly, I have one confession to make. Despite my rigorous list, I still think Chris Christie (New Jersey’s big, loud, blunt Republican Governor) would be Mitt Romney’s best choice, and I still think he might pick him. If he picks a winner from the “Buzz” round like Christie, rather than from the “Do No Harm” round like Daniels or Portman, it will show a more desperate campaign in need of a boost, because Romney is a calculated thinker who errs on the overly-cautious side. But Christie is a solid pick, Romney just doesn’t understand that the type of blustery gaffes that people like Chris Christie and Joe Biden make are actually endearing and humanizing to most Americans. And let’s face it; despite being a cautious, disciplined candidate, Mitt Romney makes gaffe after gaffe. If he could accomodate someone with a radically different style than himself, it would actually help him connect.

That being said, I expect his advisors to go through a very similar thought process as the one I used for my list. So that means that they are going to be needing a new logo pretty soon to accomodate Mitt’s running mate. No worries Team Romney, I’ve got you covered:

Romney-Tebow 2012